How Many Is Too Many? Kids that is.

So! How many kids should you have? Some people wing it and a decision like this should be well-thought-out but it doesn't always happen that way... like me.
Take this Quiz: How many kids should you have?
 

A) 1 child

CONS: Is it true that only children are spoiled. Well, coming from an only child herself, yes, we tend to be spoiled. Why? Well that's where the Pros in having one child come in to play. But I can tell you that being the only child is very lonely. You may have your parents full undivided attention, but you don't someone else to confide in other than them like a sister or brother.
PROS: Having an only child is... Cheaper! Easier. More portable. Best parent-to-child ratio (2:1)

B) 2 children

CONS: If you produce one good kid, you could chalk that up to luck. If you produce two good kids, it’s tempting to become a snooty, self-righteous prick who thinks they have it all figured out. Also it’s tempting to dress the two kids in matching tennis outfits and have them pose for the cover of the J. Crew catalog.
On the other hand, if one child is good and the other bad, the good child inevitably becomes resentful of all the time & attention lavished on the bad one.
PROS: Having two kids is optimal for your health. “Too few or none at all, and they are at increased risk of dying from almost all of the conditions studied, perhaps because they lack the extra motivation to look after their health. But too many, and they struggle to cope with the financial and emotional stress of bringing up a large family. Having two children, however, is just right, the journal Social Science & Medicine reports.” — That’s reasoning right out of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”!
Two girls, specifically, if you can manage it. Harmony! Hair-braiding! “Helping around the house!” (Ew.) But doubling it up doesn’t mean double the fun—for some reason, four girls is poison: “Families with four girls were the least happy, according to the study.” Doesn’t that seem a bit weird? After all, Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy did all right.
If you do have only girls, though, the father is more likely to leave. It is true that Marmee spent a suspicious amount of time as a single-parent, and Mr. Bennett, God knows, was not a fulfilled man. Would Tevye have skipped if he were able to? A question for the ages.
Also, two gives you a bit of an insurance policy in case the first one is rotten and/or refuses to donate that kidney.

C) 3 children

CONS: At this point, it probably helps to have a house—ideally, a bed-and-breakfast with a staff.
PROS: A big, happy family! (Maybe.) Or just a realistic view of life. Even if your first two were good, what are the odds the third will be too? If the third is indeed less good, then you’re brought back to earth and can go around with a humbled, penitent smile, apologizing for all the bragging your first children made you do. Then your friends will once again take your calls.

D) More than 3 children

CONS: You’re contributing to global warming.
PROS: Well, you’re definitely hedging your bets.