Boosting A Child's Self-Esteem!

Today's Tuesday and I missed an important part of my day. My day usually consists of meeting with small groups that I counsel on "Self-Esteem." Being the counselor in a middle school, it's imperative these kids feel important and understand that they must find themselves first before they can navigate through a world they may not quite understand.

As a parent and middle school counselor, I never want to see my children or other children suffer from low self-esteem, if i can do something about it.... yet unfortunately, I can't always get what I want. It's difficut as it is to help my kiddos in school understand themselves... because too many children today are lacking in the confidence department, and with the role I play as mother and role model to 13-16 year olds everyday, it's my job to help fill that void.

I give small group sessions throughout the day, every Tuesday with small groups of 8 (girls only) leaving 64 (13-16 yos) in my responsibility. I have to be the one to help raise their confidence-- keeping it high, in everything I do from the moment they walk in, 'til the moment they leave school. We all are not niave to know that today's generation of kids are reaching out for help one by one due to the lack of parental involvement and parenting skills.

I know there is only so much I can do, but I want to make sure I do my very best. And believe me, after missing yesterday due to my son's conjunctivitis issue, I am happy to say, nonetheless, I actually do play a major role in their lives! From missing one day, I received emails, phone calls and notes that were left for me wondering where I was because they already "missed me and our time together."

If you have kids that need help with raising their confidence, here are the basics I use as a mother and counselor that can change a life or two:

Acknowledge Their Feelings: It's always important to hear their side of the story and how they are feeling or why they are feeling the way they do. This helps identify the underlying problem and offer effective solutions you may use.

Identify Inaccurate Beliefs: Kids all have a standard they set on themselves and they usually set it high. After all, we are our worst critics. By offering an objective and more optimistic view on the situation, you can quickly turn their thoughts around. For example, if your child constantly says he is bad at math and a horrible student, try telling him that he is a good student who simply needs to spend more time on one particular subject.

Avoid Comparisons: Nothing makes a child feels worse than hearing she isn't good enough. By eliminating comparisons, you maximize self-esteem and minimize rivalry.

Build a Positive Environment: Confidence begins within the home and in the environment in which they are in for most of their time. When you create a safe place, it boosts their self-esteem and hopefully teaches them to help others who may have low self-esteem.
Praise Them: When we compliment children, it usually isn't as important to them as talking to others about their achievements as they are more receptive. Brag about what they are doing or have done and it will raise their confidence level to a high in which now they know you believe in them.
Offer Unconditional Love: Giving children more responsibilities, shows that we as adults, teachers, counselors, parents, are confident in their capabilities. This of course makes them more confident in themselves.
Celebrate Success: Whether it's good grades on their report cards or acing a test or even giving assistance where it is needed, when the kids see how proud of them you are, they will start to gravitate to it and take pride in themselves.
GIVE THEM A GOOD ROLE MODEL: "Practice what you preach." If they see you giving up on challenges or talk negative about things you can't seem to do right, then the children are likely to follow and mimic your moves. Not because they want to or like the negative, but because they look up to you and they believe whatever you may be doing, is working for youm when it really is not. When you are a role model, it gives opportunity to build their confidence and self-esteem. This also helps you as a person grow and boost your own as well.