Motherhood. It's a life long journey...
We want to believe this love between parent and child is special. That the gift of life between us carves into stone what otherwise could be washed away by the rain. But it's not true. We are human. We yell and bellow and we have a worst side that we show to those we love the most. And we can tear away at this love until all we see are conditions.
It's hard for any person to admit when they are in the wrong, especially when it comes to your children. Believe me, if I could tell you that everything was perfect, I would, but God know's -- that's not true and being a parent is much more than that. It is our job as mother's and role models, to learn from our mistakes and apologize to our kids when we are in the wrong.
It means that as a mother, it is critical to show them what a fulfilled, courageous, confident, powerful, smart, fun-loving woman and partner really looks like.
If you want your children to be healthy and fit, then you must be healthy and fit.
If you want them to be curious, open and adventurous, then you must live the same way.
If you want them to have a romantic, sensual, emotionally connected and equal partnership and marriage, then you must create a marriage and partnership that reflects these qualities.
As a mother, it is my responsibility and commitment to model for my children not just what I hope for them as they reach adulthood, but HOW to do it. I must give them the raw and real truth about how it is done so that they learn how to do it for themselves.
Before I became a mother, I didn't realize how crucial my role was. And it is ok if we don't do everything perfectly. We are learning as we go and we are all soaking in what is learned for the next time. You can be a perfectionist and prepare for the role of motherhood, however, this thing called motherhood, needs more than preparation. It's a life long journey once you decide to make that decision of being a mother and there are things I wish I had known ahead of time instead of the sappy little whatever details that everyone tells you. But nothing prepares you for this motherhood journey, more than your own self and that beautiful child from which you learn from. I wish someone would have been real enough to tell me what I needed to know, rather than throw me in a lake to sink or swim... Fortunately, I swam, as most of you will!
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| Kiddos fell asleep on me while I was napping. |
30 Things I Wish I'd Known About Motherhood:
1. Motherhood is beautiful and terrifying all at once.
2. You won't always be happy as a mother.
3. You will always love your children, but there will be times when you don't like them, and that is completely normal.
4. There will be times when you will want to cry in the corner.
5. There will be times when you do cry in the corner.
6. You will learn you are so much stronger than you thought.
7. The first time you hear your child laugh, you will find a part of your heart that you did not realize existed, and it will make you smile a smile you had no idea was possible.
8. You will doubt yourself.
9. You will at some point sound like your mother and it will make you both cringe and giggle.
10. You will share information with your friends that you never would have thought was appropriate before kids -- things like, "Oh my God, I haven't pooped in at least four days!" and "Why are my nipples so sore, this kid doesn't even have teeth yet?" and "I'm seriously telling my husband the doctor said four more weeks." They will laugh with you, cry with you and understand you in ways that only a mother can.
11. You will do anything for sleep. For example, a person who may have said she would never rock her child in a glider all night just to get some shuteye will do just that. Hell, I would have swung on a swing at 3:00 in the morning by myself in a park to get my firstborn to sleep for longer than one hour at a time. Seriously!
12. You will learn as you go, and that is just fine. Your kids will somehow think you know what you're doing, until they're teenagers, of course, and then you are suddenly the biggest idiot on the planet.
13. You will feel judged by others.
14. You will judge others.
15. You will empathize with other mothers in public. You are now part of the club, and sticking together is how we survive.
16. You will sit and stare at a wall while your child naps, because you haven't had a moment to yourself in who knows how long.
17. You will look forward to going to the dentist.
18. You will feel protective in a way you never thought possible.
19. You will love your spouse in a different way than you did before you had children.
20. You will learn to let some things go.
21. You will sometimes miss who you once were.
22. You will learn from your children.
23. You will experience love that is all-encompassing, beautiful, terrifying and endless.
24. There will be good days.
25. There will be bad days.
26. There will be excellent days.
27. There will be horrible days.
28. You will come out of each day tired, but strong.
29. You are more prepared for this gig than you give yourself credit for.
30. You are not perfect, but neither is the mother next to you or the one next to her.
It is the one thing we all have in common.
2. You won't always be happy as a mother.
3. You will always love your children, but there will be times when you don't like them, and that is completely normal.
4. There will be times when you will want to cry in the corner.
5. There will be times when you do cry in the corner.
6. You will learn you are so much stronger than you thought.
7. The first time you hear your child laugh, you will find a part of your heart that you did not realize existed, and it will make you smile a smile you had no idea was possible.
8. You will doubt yourself.
9. You will at some point sound like your mother and it will make you both cringe and giggle.
10. You will share information with your friends that you never would have thought was appropriate before kids -- things like, "Oh my God, I haven't pooped in at least four days!" and "Why are my nipples so sore, this kid doesn't even have teeth yet?" and "I'm seriously telling my husband the doctor said four more weeks." They will laugh with you, cry with you and understand you in ways that only a mother can.
11. You will do anything for sleep. For example, a person who may have said she would never rock her child in a glider all night just to get some shuteye will do just that. Hell, I would have swung on a swing at 3:00 in the morning by myself in a park to get my firstborn to sleep for longer than one hour at a time. Seriously!
12. You will learn as you go, and that is just fine. Your kids will somehow think you know what you're doing, until they're teenagers, of course, and then you are suddenly the biggest idiot on the planet.
13. You will feel judged by others.
14. You will judge others.
15. You will empathize with other mothers in public. You are now part of the club, and sticking together is how we survive.
16. You will sit and stare at a wall while your child naps, because you haven't had a moment to yourself in who knows how long.
17. You will look forward to going to the dentist.
18. You will feel protective in a way you never thought possible.
19. You will love your spouse in a different way than you did before you had children.
20. You will learn to let some things go.
21. You will sometimes miss who you once were.
22. You will learn from your children.
23. You will experience love that is all-encompassing, beautiful, terrifying and endless.
24. There will be good days.
25. There will be bad days.
26. There will be excellent days.
27. There will be horrible days.
28. You will come out of each day tired, but strong.
29. You are more prepared for this gig than you give yourself credit for.
30. You are not perfect, but neither is the mother next to you or the one next to her.
It is the one thing we all have in common.
Motherhood.
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