Confessions of a 20 something mommy

Motherhood isn’t always perfect as some mother's portray it to be. I may sometimes come off as one of those mothers but only because I am trying to do the absolute best for them. However, it is not always easy. It’s dirty and frustrating and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and overwhelming all at once. It’s just about everything you can think of that you didn't experience before you had kids. Anyone who claims that motherhood is only the good stuff is simply in denial and just plain lying! 

As a mother, I’ve been talked about for giving birth with no pain medication, exclusively breastfeeding, using disposable diapers, spoiling my children, starting solids too early, not starting them early enough, abandoning traditional baby food too soon, allowing my children to sleep with me, keeping them rear-facing in the car seat, breastfeeding too long, sending them to preschool, using a stroller well into age five in Disney World, doing too many after-school activities, not getting them involved in enough, being too strict, being too soft... the list goes on and on. Whether we as mother's are under obvious fire or just the raised eyebrow of the mom in line next to us at Target, there’s always a watchful eye certain we could be doing a better job.

Admitting that this job isn’t always easy doesn’t make you a bad mother, it makes you a strong mother because you know you are doing the absolute best at trying to make their lives as well as yours... happy. We are NOT the first ones to ever accidentally tell our children to shut up or pinch them to get quiet in public. Nor are we the first to look flustered and unsure of ourselves when the baby has recently been born. We are NOT the first mothers to feel overwhelmed and challenged and not entirely fulfilled by motherhood our first go around. 

Why is it so difficult for mother's to admit our weaknesses and imperfections? In fact, we will be better mothers, better wives, and better women if we are able to finally drop the act and get real. Ha. No marriage, no family and definitely no child is perfect! There are so many who portray this of their lives. Who are we pretending, anyway? Life is never perfect as it seems.
  From a previous blogger, I have learned to take her steps in consideration.

"Please solemnly recite the following before proceeding:

I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood, for without it, I recognize that I may end up institutionalized. Or, at the very least, completely miserable.

I shall not judge the mother in the grocery store who, upon entering, hits the candy aisle and doles out M&M’s to her screaming toddler. It is simply a survival mechanism.

I shall not compete with the mother who effortlessly bakes from scratch, purees her own baby food, or fashions breathtaking costumes from tissue paper. Motherhood is not a competition. The only ones who lose are the ones who race the fastest.

I shall shoot the parents of the screaming newborn on the airplane looks of compassion rather than resentment. I am fortunate to be able to ditch the kid upon landing. They, however, are not.

I shall never ask any woman whether she is, in fact, expecting. Ever. I shall not question the mother who is wearing the same yoga pants, flip-flops, and T-shirt she wore to school pickup the day before. She has good reason.

I shall never claim to know everything about children other than my own (who still remain a mystery to me). I shall hold the new babies belonging to friends and family, so they may shower and nap, which is all any new mother really wants.

I shall strive to pass down a healthy body image to my daughter. She deserves a mother who loves and respects herself; stretch marks, dimples, cellulite, and all.

I shall not preach the benefits of breast-feeding or circumcision or homeschooling or organic food or co-sleeping or crying it out to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business.

I shall try my hardest to never say never, for I just may end up with a loud mouthed, bikini-clad, water gun–shooting toddler of my very own. I shall remember that no mother is perfect and that my children will thrive because of, and sometimes even in spite of me."

Mother's like to paint motherhood as a picture-perfect experience. Such as; a perfect newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into the loving arms of his mother, who is smiling proudly and wiping tears of joy from her cheeks. A mother’s long, blond hair trailing in the wind as she holds hands with and runs alongside her beautiful, impeccably dressed children. A mother and daughter sipping tea and painting each other’s nails, telling each other their deepest secrets and dreams. A mother leading dance events and enjoying mother son dates. Don't get me wrong, these situations and moments all happen and they are indeed miraculous and joyful however, they can also be few and far between. 

What about the children who throw tantrums in the grocery store and you just stepped foot in to start shopping and can't leave because you have no food in the pantry? Or the child who taddle-tell's on everything the sibling (younger or older) is doing wrong while you try to finish your school assignment in quietness? The child who whines and whines until he/she gets the water they can get for themselves? Or the child who yells for you to cover them with a blanket that they can grab because their feet are laying on top of it? The time you put them in front of the television because you want at least 15 minutes of alone time when you don't have a babysitter? 
Those are priceless moments that you will always carry with you, but are they what mother's today talk about in their daily conversations with others?

Do these things make motherhood any less perfect? Of course not: they make motherhood real!

10 Secret Mom Confessions: Moms get candid about what they’re really like as parents, what they secretly think about other moms, what they miss most about life before kids, and more. Plus, more mom secrets from TODAYMoms!
http://www.parenting.com/gallery/mom-confessions?src=syn&dom=cnnliving

Are 20-something unwed moms the new teen moms?
http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/30/living/parenting-20somethings