Telephone calls and Facetime with Dad

As I always pass by my dad's old job, smelling the coffee through my vents and reminiscing my childhood days when he would come home drenched in a coffee scent as I hugged him tight welcoming him home, makes me very emotional. Yesterday was just one of those days...

I'm missing him tremendously and we talk everyday. His voice is still not good enough. His face on FaceTime is still not the same. Although I can see him and hear him, I still can't touch him, hug him or cuddle up in his arms. I may be 27 but I'm still his little girl. It's hard for some to grasp the relationship my dad and I have. It's not impossible. It's not out of the ordinary. It's a special bond that we both hold with one another. A bond that was made at birth when he held me for the first time. A bond made after seeing him as an infant for the first time. A bond that was made when my first words were "dada". He was and still is my hero. He was always there for me, involved in every extra-curricular activity. There to guide me and lead me the down the right road. There to tell me when I was screwing up. There for me when I didn't listen and there for me when he I knew I should have listened. There for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. There for me to this day to put a smile on my face. Our love can never be broken or taken away. And, today, I am missing him more and more because he and I have this father daughter bond that every little girl should have. He is my hero. He is my rescuer. And all I want to do is now, right now, through all of this, be there for him. 
Last night was very hard for as I haven't seen him on FaceTime for over a week. I was so happy to see his face but it only hurt me more knowing I couldn't be right there beside him. The kiddos are especially taking it difficult and are asking more and more questions everyday. I wish I could just give them the answer that they want to hear, but I can't. This has been the longest time that I have been away from him ever in my entire life. He may have gone on mission trips, or vacations for a week or two at a time but three months is pushing it and is too long for me. With midterms underneath me for these next two weeks, I can't even catch a flight to visit him and I want too so bad. If he isn't home before the end of the month, I will have to make arrangements to see him. He is so worth it and I can't wait until I see him. I'm such an emotional roller coaster right now. Not to mention, with my midterms, I just don't feel half prepared for them as I should be. All that is on my mind, all the time, is my dad. I'm grateful to have that in my life, a father who cares and loves me so much. A father who says everyday, that he will not give up the fight because he has so much to live for. I will always carry that with me and onto my children.