Balancing College and Family... How I did it. #TBT

I have my parents to thank, for always believing in me, no matter the obstacles that came my way. 
 For years before I graduated from college in 2008 I imagined my graduation day. I was so thrilled that my undergrad professor for speech communications, used one of my MONOLOGUE speeches that was recited amongst the student body for welcoming students after I graduated with my Associates Degree. She used me as a pillar for all students who may have had hardships/obstacles and or limitations and/or may have been/were young mothers attending college, thinking giving up might be the only option.
 

The monologue was in short, me having to fight back tears and years of sacrifice and struggles that I endured while being a young pregnant mother (18 years old) in college. This speech meant the world to me. It was my own struggle. My own accomplishment. The ups and downs I had to encounter while others around me had it easy. Studying extra long hours because I just couldn't sleep some nights with my baby growing inside me. Taking my child to class with me in an infant car seat because I didn't have a babysitter. 

The first two years I was painfully ready to accept my associates degree. I completed with 64 credit hours with a 3.4 GPA. At first it seemed like a dream to me. I kept holding on strong to my dream of graduating with my Bachelor's degree but there was always a little voice in my head saying I needed to give up already. I fell under the minority stereotype (of young Latina mothers who get pregnant and don't make anything of themselves except having more babies and cleaning houses for a living). But I told myself, I WAS NOT going to be that stereotype. Sure, people doubted me. Family cared so much about the stress and pain I had to undergo and would tell me just to let it go. BUT that kept me going. 

I can remember so vividly this one person who doubted me the most. She may read this and it may bother her but I also want to thank her for her doubts. Because without her, I would not have wanted to strive for continuing my education. The statement she made in the living room of her mothers and (my boyfriend at the time/father of my children now) townhouse, while she was cutting her friends hair, stuck with me to this day. This was when we first found out we were expecting our first child. I was 18 years old and beginning my second year of college (October 2005). She said to her brother who was sitting with me in the living room as I understand her frustration now (we were so young to be having a child and she cared about that) 

"I am here going to Cosmetology school and you and her are now pregnant. She just began college and probably won't finish now and here I am already going to be starting my career and you don't have a good job to support her when she doesn't finish school. I don't think it was a good idea because kids are a big responsibility. I don't want children." Now this is by memory only and some words may be jumbled BUT not exaggerated. AGAIN, no hard feelings because I get it now. Was I hurt back then? Yes. I told my best of friends (who also had a doubt that I would not finish), however, they apologized and wish they were as strong as I was because I came out on top when no one besides my parents thought I would. I told my parents and my boyfriend at the time (her brother) and we discussed this conversation because it hurt but I never gave up and I am so happy she said it and love her for that and now am proud I am where I am now. Two beautiful children and three diplomas, graduating with my Masters and going into my certifications and Ph.D program. 

I struggled through school day and night, not because I didn't understand the material, I loved school and made great grades but because I had an infant by my side to care for while I was attending school, it was much more difficult. Imagine taking a final in the hospital bed while you just had your first child. THEN, a year in a half went by and I went full force, WE got pregnant again. This time it was my last year of undergrad, but that STILL wasn't going to stop me. Finally, it was my time to SHINE. My counselor and professor's were so proud of me. I grew fairly close to them. That day that I received my voucher to go pick up my cap and gown... now THAT was a moment I will never forget.

The day finally came and I had butterflies in my pregnant belly. I’d search in the crowd for my loved ones and my parents and daughter were waving frantically wanting to ensure they were there for my accomplishments. I closed my eyes, heard my name and slowly walked on the stage, praying I wouldn’t fall! Friends, family, my parents and most importantly, my daughter, were cheering me on. Now she has no excuse and I am her role model. With a frantically beating heart and a 6 month baby boy jumping on the inside because he felt my nerves, I just smiled wide all while thinking I did it. I did it. I finally did it!!! I didn't fall but I looked in the crowd, raised my diploma and blew a kiss! SNAP, they took a picture of my smile (as big as anyone could every imagine) with tears streaming down my cheek bones. My momma to this day, still has that photo in her entrance way of her house. 

My graduation day was my dream. Every student dreams about their Graduation day and mine was more than I could imagine. It seemed so far and so out of my reach at the time; studying for exams and burning the midnight oil. And for those like me, who juggle parenthood/motherhood and full-time employment alongside being an undergrad student the journey to securing a degree can at times seem daunting. 

As I look back at the four years I spent being an undergrad student, I’m in complete AMAZEMENT that I was able to prioritize my education and accomplish such a GOAL. I actually wouldnt change it for the world. As I am now, a mentor for those same young students who are going through what I went through or much worse. A youth advocate who assists with continuing education and shares my story with them so they won't make excuses. A leader and an inspiration to so many who thought giving up was the only option. A motivational speaker, who can help youth, adolescents and college applicants stick by their dreams/goals/aspirations and one day speak along side of me about their stories that led them where they wanted to go.

Though I have my degree's hanging up on my wall at home, I still want MORE.

Oh, and my determination is paying off. I graduated at age 22 years old, took a two year break and graduate with my Masters at 27. My next goal is to graduate with my PhD before 30. Eh, it may be too much to ask for, but you never know. I can definitely say I have crossed out the above on my bucket list of accomplishments before age 30, AND with two children. If you're like me, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP! You CAN DO IT! If I did it, so can you! Trust me!