25 Sentences I Thought I'd Never Say until I became a Mommy...

 Every mother/parent has had these moments more than a handful of times in their life. You say something to your kid/s (usually in response to something weird or crazy they’re doing) and immediately you can’t believe what just came out of your mouth! 
Having kids can make you say the strangest darnest stuff, right?
There are way more sentences I haven't listed, but these are the one's I can remember from the top of my head. I will begin writing them down in a journal so when they grow up I can pass it on to them when they're parents themselves.
Hehehe.

1. “I have to poop. Can you please stop staring at me?”
2. "Get off of your sister's head!" 
3. “No, you can not shoot the dog in the wee-wee”
4. “Why is there poop on the floor?”
5. "Don't lick your sister!"
6. “STOP rubbing your butt on me!”
7. “If you lick me again one more time…”
8. “No, you may not just go outside and pee!"
9. “Stop picking your nose and eating it, that’s disgusting!”
10. "Stop kissing my foot!"
11. "I'm the mom...that's WHY!"
12. "Stop shaking your private at your sister!"
13. "Stop blaming your farts on Daddy."
14. "Stop grabbing my boobs!"
15. "Don't scratch your butt and smell it." 
16. "Stop throwing the puppy!!!"
17. "Please do not let the dog stick his tongue in your mouth."
18. "No, you can't stab your sister in the face with a fork. Yes, I know she did it first."
19. "If you don't listen I'm going to call Bloody Mary's name three times and put you in front of the mirror."
20. "I don't care if your sister told you to do it! Are you going to jump off a bridge when she tells you to?"
21. "If you hadn't licked my armpit you wouldn't have deodorant in your mouth."
22. "Is that poop on your underwear? Oh no, you didn't wipe good did you? Let me smell your butt."
23. "Why are all the Barbies and Ken's naked? Put their clothes back on right now!"
24. "Stop dragging yourself on the floor like a snake! We're in the middle of freaking Walmart!"
25. "What did mommy say about running off and talking to strangers? You will be sorry when you don't have a mommy anymore."