My Relationship has Taught me INDEPENDENCE

My relationship is far from perfect. It is a constant work in progress. No one's relationship/marriage is perfect. We have learned how to communicate, we have a better understanding of how to navigate life with each other, and we have both stopped some behaviors that weren’t and aren't working. It would be a lie if I told you that there are times I don’t still think about what it would be like to make him leave or for me to get out and stay out. But every day, we both make a choice to stay committed to our relationship, to our family, and to each other. Even after everything we have been through. (And boy do we have history... this is what has made us stronger.)

I don't understand why some people are ashamed of their marriage or relationship? Or "pretend" that theirs is so perfect? But I guess I can relate in a sense. I used to be there. I thought marriage was supposed to be this perfect, fairytale ending that everyone see's in movies... however by no means did I ever put our marriage above others. Nor did I "pretend" our marriage was perfect when it indeed was not. I'm the kind of person who enjoys experiencing and asks questions if I think I'm not doing it right. We were so young when we became pregnant and decided to get married. We were both still learning each other and both still learning how to be parents as well as being a full time spouse. 

I was attending school full-time and he worked full-time. We barely saw each other. He did however take care of me allowing me to be a stay at home mom with our first as I continued my education, something he knew was a part of me. What made it helpful too, was support from my parents. They were very supportive. There were times when we needed breaks away from each other and I would go to them for a sacred place. They understood even though they wanted better. They understood although they had imagined a different life for me. But they never told me. Ever. And that is truly was a support system is. 

Being in this relationship has allowed me to become extremely independent, and I have mastered many things that I would have relinquished if I had been in a different situation. Who knew that I was capable of changing a doorknob, putting furniture together, changing a tire, and being so frequently alone with a baby while attending school? Having my own time though, has definitely allowed me to continue to pursue all of the things that make me uniquely “me” that I wonder if I would have given up if I had been more dependent on him and my parents... 

I have completed my undergraduate degree along with certifications through the way. I will be graduating with my graduate degree and LPC license this fall, I have my own house, car AND full-time job. I am who I am because of my parents but I am independent because of my relationship. I don't have to ask him for money. I don't have to ask him for permission to go on vacation or to pay for every vacation. I don't expect him to pay for every single meal or for him to buy me a Micheal Kors purse every time I decide to want one, or to get my nails done on his time, I go when I want. He just does it because he wants too but I can do it on my own. I don't expect him to pay for anything that he shouldn't have too. It's nice to be independent. We are in this together and should it not work out for whatever reason, I have covered my ass, as most woman/mothers should.
"Now that's a smart woman right there!"

We may not have it all figured out to this day but together we have it all and that's all that matters in my book.